Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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