bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
