I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
