we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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