I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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