her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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