he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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