Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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