there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Barsexuality is the new black.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
