I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
