I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
