Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I am midnight drunk by noon
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Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
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I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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