Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
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I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
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And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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