Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize