I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
How does one acquire holy water?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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