mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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