I'm really into asian looking animals
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
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