What did we do last night that was yellow?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize