my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
