Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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