That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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