gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
