Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
