Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
