haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
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Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
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I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
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