I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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