i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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