maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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