who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Randomize
