Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Shame - the story of my life.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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