We're like a lot better than the average bears
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
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