I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
