you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
