I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I love having hate sex.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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