Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
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