She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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