pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
