last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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