ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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