there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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