i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
she peed on how many people?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
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