I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
