Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
In America we eat man semen.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
