As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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