you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
