You just made me feel so damn special
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I take back everything I said about communal showers
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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