I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize