Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
