Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
