It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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