idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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