ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
