Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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