found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I think I sprained my soul last night
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
