Nicole vs. Life
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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