I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
