so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
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The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
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The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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