It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Randomize