so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
