is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
